I've painted and started over one a couple different paintings over the last few days. I can't seem to get anything going with them. There's no flow, no moments in the zone. I don't like the way they look and I'm not enjoying painting them. I used to really love to paint with acrylics. I liked pushing the paint around with large brushes. I liked mixing the colors and how quickly the paint dried so that I could add more layers. I liked to use expressive brushstrokes and bold colors.
Today, I began thinking about my situation. It's been about ten years since I've painted on a regular basis. A lot has happened in those ten years. I'm different now than I was then, in many ways. I don't wear the same kinds of clothes or even eat the same foods. So why would I enjoy painting in the exact same ways, using the same materials as ten years ago? I thought I could just pick up my paintbrush and begin like nothing has changed. Today I realized that's ridiculous! Everything has changed. I'm a different person now. This is an opportunity to start over. I can try new materials, explore new subjects, and develop a new style. I need to stop clinging to the familiar and let myself begin again. Today I'm excited about it. I'm going to pick up something new and play with it, see where it leads me. I don't know the ending to this story and that's exciting.